This evening I attended the concert of a jam band that I thoroughly enjoyed called the String Cheese Incident and I made an observation. I have found that there is a direct connection between hippies and beer.

At every concert I have been to where there were hippies I have seen a good amount of beer. Now it is not just that there is beer there, it is the way that hippies handle beer that sets them apart from, say, a jock from handling a beer: Hippies like to dance, a lot. They do not do the swaying back and forth thing, they do the waving the arms and moving their bodies around a lot thing. I love it and I commend them for having the energy to do this because when I try I do it for about a minute and a half and then I am tired and give up (this is why I cut off my curly hair and became prepstar). So kudos hippie friends.

Back to the subject at hand though...So you are asking yourself what I am trying to say about hippies and beer, here it comes. What makes hippies and beer a great combination is the way it affects their dancing. Instead of bouncing and smiling and wiggling they are forced to go into jock mode (minus the deep-voiced yelling and screaming out "Play some Skynard!") and stand and rock back and forth. On occasion you will see the hand that is not holding the beer moving and doing a wavelike thing. They just can't hold it in.

I think it is also important to note that the hippies do not have a choice in this situation. They must dance as the music tells them to do so. This is something else I figured out tonight. So in conclusion hippies and beer are a great combination for a few reasons:
1. When hippies (or anyone) gets drunk it is funny to laugh and point.
2. I don't like beer and I'm not a hippie, so it works, which makes it good.
3. Watching the hippies trying not to spill beer and thus dance funny is a beautiful thing.

This connection between Hippies and Beer was brought to you by the letter Q and the number 8.

Matty Jacobs
October 6th, 1999